[From “’Zine Rant” by Paul Schnellbecher, April 1994. PO Box 20297, Oakland, CA 94620. Originally published in NO LONGER A FANzine #6. Reprinted without permission. . . .]

In my several months of searching out appealing ’zines, I have been ripped off about 15 percent of the time. You sends yore dollah an’ you hopes for da bes’. The typical rip happens two ways:    

1. You send your dollar
   1. Nothing happens
   2. You send a reminder note
   3. Still nothing
      1. In the early stages of ’zine hunting you send a poison pen letter after that
      2. In the later stages you realize they:
         1. are just having a good laugh or
         2. have dropped dead and didn’t tell you.
2. You send a dollar
   1. A ’zine arrives and with it comes a list of back issues and an appeal so sincere it all but licks your hand
   2. You fall for it and order one or more back issues
   3. Nothing happens
   4. Go to 1. B. above

[. . .]
 
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