(#11): Not sure what this is supposed to be, other than a sheet of 11 x 17 paper folded a bunch of times. There are lots of music reviews, many of them of obscure *Christian* artists, some zine reviews and tips, three poems and the ubiquitous V2 ad (the one with the alien head in a circle with a diagonal line across it). I can't imagine any infidels being interested in this. . . and as for born-agains, I suppose some find comfort in having their own music scene, just like the world. . .but is there anything in the world worth imitating? Then again, who I am to judge another man's servant? What the Hell kind of review is this, you ask? One zine passes away, and another cometh. . .in the end, they all fall short. Reviewed by The J Man. Free, stamps, or a dollar (that's what it says on the cover. . .and the Bible says a double minded man is unstable in all his ways). James D. Harvey, 371 Crossfield Road, King of Prussia, PA 19406. noah1966@hotmail.com WEB

#5. Best thing I've seen that's "Dedicated to Joey Ramone & all victims of 9/11". One part rock n' roll, more parts nostalgia. I don't know for certain whether Sept. 11 is actually mentioned anywhere except Raquel's tacked on introduction. But whatever, it's base enough that I point this out. Of interest are an interview with Nolan Bushnell, the man who created not only the Atari and Pong but also Chuck E. Cheese's (combining beer, pizza, and animatronics: genius); an interview with Adam Ant reproduced from a twenty five year old fanzine called Jamming!; and Ward Sutton's "Schlock n Roll" funnies ("Calling all desperate hipsters: wear vintage concert T's now!"). Rock photographer Roberta Bayley is (take a wild guess) interviewed. More noteworthy are her pictures printed here of young Joey Ramone and Debby Harry all over one another. By and large, an entertaining enough magazine. Reviewed by Marc. [$3.95 / standard / 96 pp. / printed, color cover] Raquel Bruno, 332 Bleecker St #K-15, New York, NY 10014. drooper123@aol.com

##1 & 2. Cursory glances at the middle aged politics of a white collar man who brings attention often to his affluence and middle agedness. Bob the man includes, in BOB the zine issue one, a poronographic beaver shot with Britney Spears's head pasted on and a can of Pepsi covering the crotch. Then in issue two, he tells how the mom n' pop copy place he'd chosen to patronize (for that very reason) refused the job. Bob the man isn't sure what to make of it. The writing here is pragmatic in its delivery and therefore not exactly dizzying with flair, but at the same time not without charm. Bob says he does a lot of studying to make his conservative (in page count, anyway) zine, but what's gained from the research? There is no reason to print how many milligrams of caffeine there are in various coffees, teas, and sodas. (FYI, the word is espresso.) Interview with some twenty year old boner who's running for mayor of Haddon Heights, New Jersey. An old (don't forget!) guy's slant on body modification trends. I'd say BOB the zine is so-so with flying colors. Reviewed by Marc. [$1.50 / half-legal / 16 pp. / copied] Bob Sheairs, 30 Locust Ave, Westmont, NJ 08108. sheairs@yahoo.com www.njghost.com

#19. Alex is part of the Convince Every Zinester to Move to Portland campaign, which snagged me earlier this year. Reading this, though, I still don't think we live in the same town. Last year's Zine Symposium is the focus of this issue, and by "focus" I mean that's all there is (save the Rock n' Roll Summer Camp for Girls). She and her hubby break their necks to help organize the event, pen pals stream in from all over. A half issue that Alex handed out at the symposium is reprinted here, and much of it, like much of the rest, is introductory. Issue number nineteen, and she doesn't think we know who she is. On one hand, I didn't. On the other, it's still a lot of throat clearing. One of Alex's fans/friends tells her (in person) that she doesn't mind hearing the same story twice. ("Pretend I haven't read your zine because it is different when you say it.") A lot of attention is put on how people portray themselves in their writing, and the effort to connect in person after many letters. So it works, I guess. (What better sign of best buddydom is there than requesting greatest hits.) Inventive typewritten, cut n' paste layouts that occasionally distract from the blander copy. Reviewed by Marc. [$2 / mini / 64 pp. / printed, handmade cover] Alex Wrekk, PO Box 14332, Portland OR 97293. brainscanzine@ureach.com

#5: A personal type zine by a Chinese-American chicky-poo who travels a lot. This issue takes you on a "Tour of Beijing" which includes some description of the punk scene. The article that stands out the most, however, is the one where Michelle described her uncle's descent into madness in "A Family Dysfunction." The author seems to ramble on trying to make sense of a disturbing situation: "Everyone in my uncle's life resents his coldness, his lack of confidence, and his selfish reticence, even though we still care enough to help him get treatment." ¶ This thing is a hearty independent publication with a lot of content involving interesting subject matter, however, if I had to make some criticism I'd say the author writes in too conservative a style. Sometimes the text gets dry as if it were something to be turned into a professor (maybe it is — I actually got "independent study" credits in college for doing my zine, but I still wrote it in my own personal style.) The advantage of doing a zine is that you are not writing for a stuffy editor and the advantage of doing a personal zine is that you can present it in your own style and share bits of yourself you wouldn't actually want to announce on a megaphone. For example, an evening of Bingo at the New Haven Gay and Lesbian Community Center in "Lucky Night" describes how the participants had an amusing time, but the author never reveals anything personal in a straightforward manner. She wouldn't say, "Yeah, I'm a lesbian, that's why I play Bingo with these people." ¶ The zine is also laid out in a uniform style, which is nice, but I found it sort of amusing that she quotes her own text in big print like it's a newspaper. Still a good zine, however, so check into it. Reviewed by thrill racer. [?/5.5x8.5/48 pp.] Michelle, P.O. Box 200077, New Haven, CT 06520. Cainzine[at]yahoo.com, http://cainzine.tripod.com

#5. Josh has visualized the zinester's zine. It's your standard zine format, filled with well written pieces that are hand written on pages filled with doodles and clip art, creating all sorts of cool design possibilities. There is a good understanding of what you can do with black and white format, so the photocopying is lovely without overextending the medium. This is the party story theme issue, which mostly means it's the "I was drunk and..." theme issue. While many zines would use this as an excuse to tell variations of puke and hangover tales that are only interested if your life is similar and you want to compare notes, Josher provides many interesting anecdotes told in many interesting styles. Indeed, this zine is all things to all people. Well, maybe not, but damn worth a coupla bucks. Reviewed by Rich Mackin. $2, 32pp Photocopied, Digest. POBox 330, Richmond, VA 23218.

I dunno why I'm so determined to publicly scorn this tyke's manifesto. In March I bought it off a distro table, and only got through about ten pages of the inconsiderately small (however legible) writing. (The gal who hand printed it all out for the author is thanked, apparently by herself.) And it's noted with satisfaction that this is a second generation copy I have, "or greater". Maybe you can't even order it anymore. (It's dated 2001.) Nonetheless . . . Ran (the author, whom I assume to be male, from the quotes that follow) expounds on why he rides a bicycle and buys organic, and on how he gets by on $600 monthly, living in Seattle. "I bathe with a washcloth in the sink and brush my teeth and shave with nothing but water." (Unsurprisingly, a few pages later: "I don't get laid.") But, hey, he goes on to write, "[i]t's not about denying myself, or being 'pure', or getting far-lefty social status. . . . It's about being a warrior, persistently taking positive action to change the world in your own particular way." For twenty thousand words, we get Ran's particular way, and my goodness. When he isn't speaking too abstractedly or overusing the word "symbiosis", the guy's just babbling. Extended metaphors, layered upon one another. Jerry Mander is cited. Then, from who knows where, the very best line: "In the bowels of industrial civilization, people who know nothing about Indians feel the urge to live in the woods with their friends . . ." Ran, of course, didn't mean it ironically. Reviewed by Marc. [$3 / digest / 52 pp. / copied] Ran Prieur, PO Box 45564, Seattle, WA 98145.

(#10): This is the Super-Sized version (about 130 pages) of Mr. Clutch's 4 panels per day diary comic. . .page after page after page of fatigue, restlessness (it's amazing how often Clutch must go somewhere and watch something to fill the empty hours of his life . . .basketball games, boxing, boring movies, punk shows, etc. . .this is symptomatic of the *Amerikan Way of Life* . . .bewildered by their own existence, Amerikans are more spectators than participants in life. . .they go and watch things, in the hope of finding some *raison d'etre*), poor health. The poor health, really, is the essence of Clutch. . .the essence of Amerikanism. . .despite being somewhat fanatical about food, Clutch has stomach problems, despite being somewhat diligent about exercise, Clutch battles his waist line. . .he also suffers from frequent colds, back aches, general lethargy, etc. As Clutch states in some of his panels: "I feel really worn out," "I just can't seem to get anything done lately," "I felt tired and dirty and lazy and useless all day," "Started to feel sick," "Still feeling sick," "Woke up this morning with a sharp pain in my upper back," "I didn't feel like doing anything today." Amerikans suffer from odd maladies, previously unreported in medical history, such as *Chronic Fatigue Syndrome*. . .People like Clutch go to the doctor, and the doctor says "I can't find anything wrong with you." But these people feel ill. . .why? As Clutch himself reveals in the last panels of this *Moby Dick of Malaise* "I can't help feeling like I'm letting my life slip away. I feel like I'm losing my chance to do something important, something special, something great with my life. I just hope I have it in me to turn things around before it's too late and I'm stuck being this way for the rest of my life." Sorry, Clutch. Your life slipped away long ago. . .you want to find your life in this world, but: "Whosoever shall seek to save his life shall lose it. . ." Reviewed by The J Man. $3 (it's a fair price, but it would be much cheaper to just click on a *classic rock* station on FM radio and wait for Pink Floyd's *Time:* "Ticking away the moments that make up the dull day/You fritter and waste the hours in an off hand way/Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town/Waiting for someone or something to show you the way . . ."). Clutch, PO Box 12409, Portland, OR 97212.

#16. Didn't get a lot from this, a dreamy existential block of text without punctuation, that's either illustrated or simply interspersed with Mike's artwork. I can't tell. The words grab on occasion (e.g., the image of a neighbor's dog choking on its chain while trying to break loose, repeatedly, and of being kept awake through the night by the yelping), but often they're just a long list of rock groups and movies the author likes (or likes to remember). Skateboards and aprupt violence, sudden transition followed by another list. Should I be impressed with the obscurity, that I can't tell at times where one band's name ends and another begins? The drawings are like those a jr. high school stoner might produce on his notebook in boredom. This is done with intention, perhaps — it's a story framed on teen age — but dubious aesthetically. Reviewed by Marc. [$2 / mini / 42 pp. / copied] Mike Twohig, 83-1/2 Howell St. #2, Rochester, NY 14607. m_twohig@hotmail.com angelfire.com/ill/miketwohig

#6, Summer 2003. Third consecutive issue I've seen of this "Quick, Little Guide to Self-Published Comics", all three having the same format: an e mail interview (conducted by Sean Thoughtworm) with a featured artist, a couple dozen pages of excerpts from different comics, and a few more text only writeups toward the end. The excerpts from the various comics are well selected, in that they're esoteric enough to carry suspense (leading to more orders, one assumes). The descriptions of the various titles are more summary than critique, so not a lot of bang for your buck there (so to speak). But it is called a quick, little guide. Excellent production value, with colored ink. Reviewed by Marc. [50¢ / mini / 28 pp. / printed] Comixville, PO Box 697, Portland, OR 97207-0697.

##1, 2, & 3. A mild amount of workplace embezzlement was apparently involved in getting these review copies to me. An Express Mail package bearing no less than $13.65 in postage, which I had to sign for, came with the return address of a social security office or something. All for three little digest sized, semi-politcal zines. I wholeheartedly applaud your ethic, Shay. As for Crash . . . Why is it necessary to shrink the originals down when copying, so that every page is framed in white space? In your third issue you enlarge the size of the type to correct for this, but why not just use another machine? Do you scam copies from the job, too? As it is, the reducing makes me feel disoriented and lonely. Numerous contributors write on civil rights for prostitutes, commodification of the likes of Che Guevara, et cetera. I preferred the "Affimitive Action in Other Countries" thing and the interview (by Shay) with Northern State, an all woman rap group from Long Island. The questionare profiles of indy musicians I could do without. This is the kinda zine you'd trade with for a couple issues, then let it lapse. Reviewed by Marc. [$2 / digest / 32-40 pp. each / copied, color cover] Shay Staggers, PO Box 20455, Newark, NJ 07101. crashzine@hotmail.com www.crashzineonline.net

#2. With this, Andrew Penland (AKA Andrew Octopus) continues to blur the line between zine and mailart and peculiar thing with yellow stains on it that you're not sure you want to touch. Deliberately and hopelessly cryptic drawings and hand scribble decorate 10 digest sized scraps of paper that are connected end to end with safety pins, forming somewhat a chain. "He imagined her body as an abacus of jewelry / Butterflies smuggled through a prepaid cell phone". Keep 'em coming, goofball. Reviewed by Marc. [$? / digest / 20 pp. / copied, handmade] Andrew Penland, 149 Newfound St, Canton, NC 28715

#7, Gay Insurance. It's a play, but with stick figure heads instead of character names to denote who's speaking, if you know what I mean. Clever format that reads quickly — but not quick enough; I gave up somewhere in Act II. The plot goes like this: Mom from middle America gets a job at an insurance company. Her boss is called "The Devil's Avacado" (how droll, sir!). Meanwhile, a fading superstar, "Celebrity X", is convinced by his people to say he's queer now, rejuvenating album sales. And there's a character based on Dr. Laura Schlessinger, and there are aliens. . . . Larry's comic timing isn't bad. The thing's just not the deadly aimed commentary/absurd modern fantasy he presents it as. What! Celebrities pretend to be people they're not in order to advance their careers? And what was that, lawyers can be disreputable. Say it ain't so! Not that I read, as mentioned, all of it. I'm sure this really comes together in the end. Reviewed by Marc. [$2.50 / digest, but lengthwise / 92 pp. / copied, color cover] Larry Nocella, PO Box 122, Royersford, PA 19468-0122. xconformity@yahoo.com www.geocities.com/xconformity

(#3): Probably the best active zine out there . . .though I liked it a lot better when I thought its publisher, *Violet Jones,* was a woman. I used to picture *Violet* as this very thin, very pale, exotically attractive woman in her mid-to-late twenties who was perpetually on the rag. . .but now knowing that *Violet* is just another pissy old milkshake anarchist/luddite type, the Death Ship seems less interesting to me. This issue has the usual slew of letters grousing over the ISBN, an interesting feature on mysterious writer B. Traven (plus some excerpts from his *The Brickburner* magazine), a couple of articles about mail art, a boring interview with pissy Violet's hero, cranky old hot head Fred *The Match* Woodworth and tons of zine reviews. . . all lovingly produced, we learn in a show-offy article, on a machine called a *Varityper.* Reviewed by The J Man. Free. Violet Jones, PO Box 55336, Hayward, CA 94545.

#1: An alternative to mainstream magazines. It's filled with tons of good quality pieces along the lines of writing, art, journalism, and politics. My favorites are the short fiction. I especially liked "Me and Phineas Gage" by Brett Coker, a sharp commentary on those who self inflict trendy body mutilations in order to set themselves apart from the crowd. I liked it because I always felt like a unique individual who has no need to look different or draw attention to her body. Yeah, I'm special that way. The most boring articles, however, were the political ones. Not because the subject matter wasn't interesting or I didn't agree with the points made, they just went on and on trying to sound academic or journalistic or something. ¶ Interspersed throughout the magazine are short interviews with underground rock stars. Most you've probably never heard of. You'd be amused at the "other things" some of these people do besides rocking out. One guy, Norman Nawrocki, straps on huge inflatable dildos and makes public speeches to educate people about sexual crimes. Another guy, Phil Taylor, dresses up in a bear costume and rides around on a unicycle. Aside from the weird stuff I also liked the comments from intelligent rockers, like Elizabeth Elmore, who realizes that rocking out "tends to be a pretty selfish pursuit" and she's going to law school to do more with her life and brains. ¶ The one flaw with this magazine is that it's expensive and as it seems to understand the plight of the oppressed working class citizen, I doubt it expects those that are aware of their oppression to shell out the money for a magazine. Although, most workers are ignorant and tend to waste money on trendy stuff like coffee so if they thought this magazine was trendy they'd probably buy it and I hope the publishers sell lots of copies so they keep it going because it's good. Reviewed by thrill racer. [$7/6.75x9/151 pp] Melissa Hostetler, 277 Luedella Court, Akron, OH 44310. info[at]frictionmagazine.com, www.mokeybubblemedia.com

Lists of odd bits of personal information from about two dozen ziners. . .since I have never heard of most of these people, the information really means nothing to me. . .for instance, a fellow named Peter Conrad says "I have a lot of baseball caps." Oh. So somewhere out there someone has a lot of caps. Oh. And we have 30-some pages of this kind of *information.* Someone named Daina says "The celebrity I'd most like to have sex with is Eminem." Oh. So somewhere out there a wannabe starfucker dreams of Eminem. Reams of useless data. . .its only significance being someone bothered to enter it into a sort of zine spreadsheet. Take some ones and zeroes, enter them into their very own spreadsheet cells, save the file, name it. . .presto! *Information* is born. I suppose if you knew a lot of these ziners, the data would have some meaning. For example, I am somewhat familiar with Jason Koivu from his zines, so when he reveals "I wet the bed until I was 10 years old," I realize this is not a courageous 1st time adult admission of his long-repressed shameful past, but a recurring compulsion of his to share with the world his bedtime urinary escapades. . .Koivu talks about his yellow sheets the way Howard Stern talks about his tiny pecker. Indeed, I now think Koivu is almost sorry he stopped wetting the bed . . .it seems to have been the highlight of his life. But anyway, the point is, the *Fun Facts* by themselves don't reveal much . . .other than the general shameless exhibitionism of ziners. Reviewed by The J Man. $2 (would you pay two bucks for a jar of air?). Eric Lyden, 224 Moraine Street, Brockton, MA 02301-3664. ericfishlegs@aol.com

#1: This is a big piece of paper folded up with artwork on it. Good drawings — they are of an earthly nature, but there's not a whole lot to discuss about them. I like it, though. Reviewed by thrill racer. ["next to nothing"/4.25x5.5/16 pp.] Androo Robinson, Ped Xing Comics, 2000 NE 42 Avenue #303, Portland, OR 97213.

v5#1, Spring 2003. Being a spaz, I somewhat haunted the IPRC the first few weeks I was here. I'd go in and read zines from the library when I was supposed to be job hunting, check my e mail while looking over one shoulder. It's a nice space they have, yet now that I've paid dues for the year and become a member, I haven't been by in months. (Despite working just two blocks away.) But what's a few months anyway. . . . This says Spring but appeared, if memory serves, in July. Ah, zines. The new IPRC Director Pablo says hello, Librarian Grieg speaks up their collection. In a too cute interview with the new photocopier, we learn that copies are still 3¢ for members, 6¢ for non members. (This was a big reason for my joining. However, the one time I made a significant number of copies on the machine, it jammed repeatedly and prematurely ran out of toner. The two girls in line behind me were none too pleased.) There's a letterpress room, the computers are Mac. I would daydream about volunteering at the IPRC, now I'm just out to get my money's worth. Tomorrow, then, on my lunch break. (Did I mention the near-complete run of Pathetic Life?) Reviewed by Marc. [free (or $40, depending on how you look at it) / standard / 6 pp. / copied] IPRC, 917 SW Oak St #218, Portland, OR 97205. www.iprc.org

Volume 9, Issue 2, June 2003. This is one of those zines that old zinesters like me see a new copy of and the first words out of our mouths are "Wow, this is still around?" and then we open it and start reading and say "Wow, this is still this good?" Actually, this seemed even cooler than I recall old issues being, but I am not sure if it's a better zine or just that I appreciate things more in my old age. Basically, The Inner Swine is what happens when you take your typical zine format — a bunch of copies folded over, containing smart assed writings with a rebellious slant, but have it be done by someone who knows how to write, design and format well enough that you can spend all your brain energy on intaking the information contained instead of guessing what the letters that got cut off were or what the overdesigned layout is supposed to mean. Jeff Somers and company provide a fine toilet read or two here. Reviewed by Rich Mackin. $2, 60pp, Photocopied, digest. POBox 3024, Hoboken, NJ 07030 theinnerswine.com

#6: Girls and Guns. The pretty sticker on the cover said that there were trading cards inside. Marc must have taken them for himself before giving me the zine to review, but oh well, I found the articles just as intriguing as some colorful trading cards.
 
In its sixth issue, Girls & Guns, Kiss Machine proves itself to be an insightful and entertaining collection of poetry, fiction, non-fiction, illustration and photography. Nearly every piece, be it literary or visual, seems to capture the dual theme of ladies and their arms quite well. And the trading cards may have mysteriously disappeared, but there was a fun paper doll, Uzi Suzi, with accessories ranging from a cheerleading outfit, to some camo pants, to a machine gun. What more could a girl want?! Well, how about a story about a teenage armed robber or a series of interviews with female members of the Israeli Army.
 
My favorite piece of all was "Shoplifting Tiger, Bomb-Making Dragon," by Sherwin Tija. I take this as non-fiction, but it could be completely fictional. This is a wonderfully descriptive 6-page story about two Chinese-Canadian girls as they hang out, drink tea, talk about dorm life, get drunk and kiss. The whole story is mostly a verbal exchange between the author and her friend Suzy. What I like most about it is the honesty of the dialogue, making it easy to follow and relate to.
 
If you haven't picked up a copy of Kiss Machine yet, I suggest you do. The layout is great and easy to follow and the written pieces entertain as well as inform. Reviewed by Racheal Gaffney. [$4 (three for $10) / half-legal / 77 pp. / printed] Emily Pohl-Weary and Paola Poletto, PO Box 108, Station P, Tononto, ON M5S 2S8 Canada. www.kissmachine.org

(#35): Takes about two minutes to read this 16 page mini comic book. . .which features the kind of jokes your grandpa probably used to tell you over and over again. . . for example, one panel features a bewildered young man who asks "Would a crazy millionaire be called a doughnut?" Another shows a bug-eyed couch potato staring at an unplugged television, and is captioned "MTV Unplugged." There's also a review of "Arcade Fever," a book devoted to video games from the '71 - '85 era. They say you can't judge a book by its cover, but nobody has ever said you can't judge a man by the type of books he reads. Reviewed by The J Man. 2 stamps or trade (worth 1 post card stamp).
 
#36: A wee little comic zine. Some of the cartoons are cute (a guy in a boat telling another guy wearing a cap that he'll cap-size the boat) and some are too crass for my taste (cartoons depicting dudes with hard ons.) But it's all short and simple, including the curt movie and book reviews at the end of the issue. Reviewed by thrill racer. [$1/4x5.5/16 pp] Michael Goetz, 1340 Brandywine Drive, Rockford, IL 61108.

#4, October 2003. Once, years ago, when I was still new to this self publishing business (now look at me!), my Russian author zine got reviewed in Zine World. As Heath Row observed of me and my pseudonymous co authors: "These guys sure get excited by random stuff." At the time, I felt affronted. How could the guy fault me for having what I thought to be the defining characteristic of zines? This was before I'd encountered Yul Tolbert. Enormously breasted women with long toenails who speak Esperanto and play tennis with their titties out, this is what excites Yul, so this is what Yul draws — exclusively. Microscopic humanoids from the future and/or outer space colonize one woman's hideous nails. They give her a peticure, treat her as a god, yet still she squishes them dead. Begs for psychoanalysis. Reviewed by Marc. [75¢ / digest / 16 pp. / copied] Yul Tolbert, PO Box 02222, Detroit, MI 48202-9998. yul_tolbert@yahoo.com timeliketoons.tripod.com/lpd

#8: This issue presents the results of editor Josh Ronsen's "first three major" Mail Art projects. The funniest project presented is a collection of 122 different handwriting samples of his name that he extracted from envelopes people sent him over the years. Let me see if I recognize any names of the handwriters…yep, there's T.R. Miller of Luhey comic fame. For the first project Ronsen asked writers to send him pieces on music in dreams or imaginary music and those writings turned out rather disjointed as you'd expect, although, I'm sure some people enjoy reading that kind of creative writing. The final project is based on a set of challenging vocabulary words Ronsen sent out to people to use in writing. I'm the type of person who likes to read plain and simple text and I can't even remember if I attempted reading these pieces, but I'll tell you a little about this part anyway. I don't see the words listed anywhere, but apparently one of them is "salubrious." Okay, time to get the dictionary out. It's an adjective meaning "healthful, health giving." Cool, I'll try using it in a sentence soon so I can annoy someone by sounding pretentious. Anyway, this zine is an okay read. If you're into creative writing and mail projects then go for it. Reviewed by thrill racer. [$?/4.25x11/ 45 pp.] Josh Ronsen, 2001 Brentwood, Austin, TX 78757. http://home.flash.net/~jronsen

#7. I am at a loss for words. As a rule, you should expect one hundred page, contributor filled magazines like this to be inconsistent in technique, without much personality, and not at all worth the cover price. Morbid Curiosity is none of these. (O.K., expect a little sticker shock.) Entirely first person and nonfiction, there's a D.I.Y. surgery to remove a sebaceous cyst from Karen Switzer's scalp, a quilt that M. Parfitt assembles from her used maxi pads, a couple different run ins with small beans serial killers by Mason Winfield and Andrew Henderson. The "Medical Adventures" section is particularly grisly and spectacular, but the other chapters ("Childhood's End", "Far From Home", "Curious Behavior") do not disappoint, either. I am flabbergasted at the quality, and that I can finish one article without dreading the next. Listen to me gush! More of what's inside: a misshapen uterus, a woman running cross country from a brain tumor diagnosis, two guys spreading B.S. to get on a court TV show. The next issue of Morbid Curiosity is s'posed to appear April, 2004. If it comes down to it, I'll actually pay for that one. Reviewed by Marc. [$6 US, $7 Canada / standard / 112 pp. / printed, color cover] Loren Rhoads, Automatism Press, PO Box 12308, San Francisco, CA 94112-0308. morbid@charnel.com www.charnel.com/morbidcuriosity

#32. Queer Ramblings is "for queer women and their many admirers" but mostly for queer women. I am not so much either. I'm impressed by the idea of a monthly DIY zine that is actually monthly (heck, most quarterlies I know become biannual and then random in a year) and on issue 32 (or 31, by the intro, or 30, by the bottoms of the pages), I am less impressed with the look of this...much of the many images look downloaded: grainy and pixilated — clearly a computer is used to design this, but not a state of the art one. If this was a text based zine, that wouldn't be as big a deal, but page after page contains photos — many of which are by and of "Jeanine and Angel". A lot of the other imagery strikes me — I know if a straight guy had a collection of pics of Angelina Jolie in his zine, it would come across as somewhat odd. My favorite parts are the numerous "Out There" comics and the poem, "Too Strong to be This Weak" by Lovelybrown, which is impressive because I generally hate reading poetry. Reviewed by Rich Mackin. $1.00, 49pp Photocopied, 81/2x11". Sandra Garcia, 12800 Florence Blvd, Blythe, CA 92225.

#5: A zine of writing by a person called Ashabot. Not a review zine, don't get confused. The issue opens up with an article about the "Red Dog Saloon" in Virginia City, Nevada, which is now closed. Supposedly 60s psychedelic music started here and influenced San Francisco. ¶ The feature article is part two of an adventure in travel called "Dirt Roads to Nowhere." Ashabot and buddy follow "the west rim of the Owyhee River Canyon, looking for a way to the other side." They end up camping in the middle of nowhere. An amusing part is when they get to feeling so isolated from life they desperately start looking for ants. Later, Ashabot discusses the destruction of public land by cattle raised for livestock production. I just hope Ashabot is a vegan like me and refuses to contribute to this rape of the land. The article ends just when they find a homestead cabin so we have to read the next installment to find out if they stayed in it. ¶ The rest of the zine contains lots of short writing, especially poetry which is descriptive and flows nicely. Reviewed by thrill racer. [$2/5.5x8.5/28 pp.] Send cash or make out a check or money order to Asha Anderson: Ashabot, P.O. Box 1436, Gardnerville, NV 89410. Zines[at]ashabot.com. www.ashabot.com

#1: In this issue the author shares some scary and cringe-worthy stories about hurting himself in "Head Injuries" and "Shedding Skin" (gross!) Check out some lines from the latter story: "My eyes catch something hanging off my face. As an instinctive reaction I grab it and pull. FUCK…there goes all the skin on my nose." The next day he wakes up with his face stuck to his pillow, peels it off, and goes surfing again! What a nutcase!!! ¶ The editor also relates some anecdotes describing his experience as a pallbearer for his late grandmother. Short but memorable zine. Reviewed by thrill racer. [?/4x5.75/20 pp]
 
(#2): 4 pager from a guy in Australia . . .anecdotes from his life down under. . . snorting coca-cola through his nose, a hangover vomit-fest after drinking cheap red wine and eating a big pizza, taunting a priest who tried to break up some football fun. Read the whole thing during one commercial break in a *Cops* episode. . .kept me in the mood for the next White trash domestic disturbance call. Reviewed by The J Man. $?
 
#3: The author of this one reminisces about crazy stuff from his past: a chemistry disaster in "Experiments 101," a broken ankle in "Learning to Fly," and pissing in the streets with buddies in "Leaving Your Mark." Definitely the type of stories to make one react in possibly a not so pleasant way. One suggestion for the author is he could include pictures. Reviewed by thrill racer [?/5.75x8.25/8 pp.] R.F.T.I., P.O. Box 5817, West End QLD, Australia 4101. Prodigal_hobo[at]yahoo.com

#16. This is pretty much your standard format newsprint with glossy cover semi-professional music zine/magazine. The difference here is that there are only a few columns and articles and interviews but a review of pretty much every record to come out, um, I think ever. Record reviews of all sorts. This issue might be worth getting specifically because the Exploding Hearts grace the cover in connection with what I THINK is the last interview with them since a car accident caused their untimely deaths. Reviewed by Rich Mackin. 106pp, Offset, full size. POBox 2271, San Rafael, CA 94912. www.shreddingpaperradio.com/sp.html

Made by a friend of a friend named Josh, who's really into steciling. Includes photographs of a few dozen stop signs that have been altered to read: "STOP BUSH'S WARS", "STOP STARVING IRAQ", "STOP GREEDY DEVELOPERS", "STOP ISRAEL", and so on. Also has a first-hand story about stickering signs (Mumia related) all over Berkeley in one well orchestrated night, and of an ararchist group in New Orleans retaliating against a man who would cover all the city's graffiti with gray primer paint. "STOP FRED RADTKE! STOP THE GREY GHOST!" Much of the man's time is now spent, goes the pro-vandalism parable, scraping off stickers that bear his name. My favorite photo is the one with two stickers: "STOP STARVING DRIVING". Reviewed by Marc. [$1.50 / mini / 32 pp. / copied] Josh MacPhee, PO Box 476971, Chicago, IL 60647. josh@justseeds.org www.justseeds.org

#10 Wow! This guy and his wife sure do exercise a lot. I also noticed they don't drink any beer, or any alcohol at all for that matter. Huh. Kinda makes me feel like a lazy drunk. Despite this, I thoroughly enjoyed this zine.
 
The author, Sean, begins with a well thought out introduction outlining how he'd come into to his current living situation in Wichita Falls. The bulk of the zine consists of journal entries. Sean has a clear and easy to understand writing style. It just reads fast and the reader quickly and easily absorbs the events and ideas put forth. His language has a way of being very descriptive, without rambling on about bunch of useless crap. It certainly helps that the author's opinions and viewpoints closely mirror mine and I believe that I would have similar opinions of my surroundings, if I were to find myself living in Wichita Falls.
 
Sean concludes the journal entries with a postscript describing his experience being anti-war in a very conservative community. And here I could definitely relate to his position; though I live in a community believed to be predominantly liberal, I work in an environment which is not. As he actually dared to put an anti-war sign on his lawn, I would never have the balls to do something similar at work. It's just easier to smile and nod and avoid any political discussions at all. Overall, I found his insight into this issue interesting.
 
The end of the publication has a few good book reviews (I think I might actually read one of the books), a request for some CD trades and a bunch of short and sweet zine reviews. The grammar and punctuation throughout Thoughtworm is impeccable. The cover (designed by wife Malinda) is a great silkscreen of the title and cool armadillo. Very simple, yet very eye-catching. The layout is very organized and consistent, but I did find it to be a bit boring. But I'm more one for using bold lettering and fancy fonts. So that's pretty much my only complaint. Reviewed by Racheal. [$2 / digest / 24 pp. / copied] Thoughtworm c/o Sean Stewart, 1703 Southwest Pkwy, Wichita Falls, TX 76302. sean@thoughtworm.com

#13: A hardcore music zine that caters to the people in this "scene." If you're just a general music fan you probably won't find it too interesting. The issue includes a lot of record/CD reviews. I extracted some phrases from just some of the music descriptions so you can get a better understanding of the kind of music reviewed. "Hardcore," "quick paced hardcore," "thrashing hardcore," "thrash kid hardcore," "maxed out hardcore brutality," "violent blasting hardcore," "Japanese hardcore," "midtempo crusty hardcore," "crusty grind/hardcore," "classic Euro-Crust," "crusty grindcore," "grind," "grindcore," "Belgian grind," "metal/grind," "metallic thrash," "rocknroll," "punk rock," "quick paced and tuneful punk rock," and "melodic/pop punk." ¶ The issue also includes an interview with Anarchy Al, a dude who video tapes bands and does artwork for those releases. We also have a Born/Dead tour diary by Will, an interview with Consume, and lots of photo essays and other stuff. Reviewed by thrill racer [?/8.25x10.5/lots of pages] I don't see any contact information. Of course, it may be hidden among the chaos somewhere.

#2. Prosey comic with another lot of ghastly pet anecdotes. Wolves tear into a rabbit pen, an adopted stray cat is burned to char atop a truck's engine. Kelly's style is minimal and doodle like, in complement of her storylines. These are childhood memories illustrated, and I like in particular the conspicuous detail given to her changing hairstyles. (In one comic, it looks like a perm.) This is how women approach their art; Kelly's little brother is drawn often wearing a Batman T shirt, and I'm sure he often was. To balance all the horror in this issue, also included are bios of Kelly's friends' pets. "Bones was such a badass that even though he was declawed, he could still attack other cats — by pouncing on them and punching them!" Reviewed by Marc. [$? / digest / 20 pp. / copied] Kelly Froh, 101-1001 W. Broadway, Box 450, Vancouver, BC, V6H 4E4 Canada. kelly@221colab.org www.221colab.org/kelly_froh/

(#59): 8 full-size page zine published by Hutton Gibson (father of movie *star* Mel Gibson). Daddy Gibson is a Catholic sedevacantist (sedevacantists believe the office of the Pope is vacant, because all Popes beginning with John XXIII are heretics for introducing and continuing the reforms of the Second Vatican Council), and his *war* is to restore Catholicism to its traidtional roots. His zine is full of sarcastic barbs directed at the contemporary church (for example, John Paul II is referred to as the "Koran-kissing antipope"). Much of the zine is dedicated to arguing trivial matters of Catholic doctrine, and therefore is of little interest (aside from Gibson's snide remarks) to infidels or Protestants. However, when the crusty 84 year old Hutton comments on secular matters, he regains our attention, and his remarks seem right on the money: "All our military expeditions since World War I, incidentally, have been wasteful of not only our own troops, but also of horrendous numbers of non-combatants. If terrorists thirst for our blood, they are motivated by our government's forays into international politics. If we have an unpayable national debt, it is because our government betrayed its constitutional control of our money to international bankers, and subjected us to the usury that our Church formerly condemned. If we have enemies against whom we must maintain defense at enormous cost, it is because our government has funded and supplied their growth into viable threat"). Gibson is not immune to crackpot-ism, though, as his solution to the woes our Federal government has inflicted upon us shows: all 50 states should secede from the union. . ."Should all states secede, no federal taxes could be exorted. If the federal government were left stateless, who would owe the national debt?" Hmmn, rebellion, revolution. . .maybe Daddy Gibson has watched *Braveheart* a time or two too many? Reviewed by The J Man. $5 annual subscription. Hutton Gibson, 13121 Louetta Road, PMB 205, Cypress, TX 77429.

(#1): Nothing too weird in this generally benign zine published by first grade teacher. . .mostly pages with background pictures and small text blocks spaced widely apart (this is a 10 page zine masquerading as a 24 pager). . .text covers topics such as NASCAR (if horse racing is the sport of kings, then car racing must be the sport of trailer trash, and teacher seems slightly embarrassed to confess his fondness for this opiate of the hicks. . .well, there's even something sexual about his stock car fixation. . .teacher says "Yeah, there's the occasional fiery crash, but I like it best when things are close, when the cars are three wide through the corners, and there's all sorts of rubbin'". . .gee, sounds more like he's describing an orgy than the Dixie 500), guns (teacher owns a 9mm and likes to go to the range for target shooting), Harry Potter, stamp collecting, Dungeons and Dragons (teacher started his own club back in the 7th grade), his brief career as an office worker (he thinks being a teacher is better), and a few others similarly unremarkable. As I said, it's mostly harmless, but I found the following self-actualization pyramid passage very annoying: "I teach first grade and from what my co-workers, parents, and superiors say, I'm very good at what I do. The better I am at my job, the better a person I become. With each child I teach to read, I feel that I put just a little more distance between myself and that knuckle head from early '90s." Whoa. . .spread out! Here comes an Important Person! Hey, give yourself a big pat on the back, why don't ya? Maybe Jeff Gordon should put a Weirdness Magnet logo on his car. . .Gee, imagine if this guy taught in an inner city school. . .he'd probably be putting in his application for sainthood right now. I am sure this little passage won't raise an eyebrow on most who read it. . .that's because Amerikans are conditioned to embrace self-aggrandizement . . .for example, obese women aren't fat slobs, but *BBWs. *. . .it's also very Amerikan to equate job performance with self-worth. . .this is why an Amerikan will almost always ask within 5 minutes of meeting someone "what do you do?" Perhaps this fellow really believes that as his competence as a teacher increases, he becomes better and better as a person. . . but I wonder how he quantifies that? Has he given more money to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund as his students scored higher on aptitude tests? Has he doubled the amount of hours he has spent volunteering at the homeless shelter as his students' penmanship became more legible? Perhaps the teacher will publish this data in Weirdness Magnet #2. Reviewed by The J Man. $2 (if one of his students ever wins the Spelling Bee, this thing might be free). Christian Walker, PO Box 983, San Jacinto, CA 92581. Christian@scrollworkspress.com

Wonderful title, less than wonderful zine. Much of the content is relationship related public domain jokes from the ladies' perspective, the type that might fill your e mail inbox if you had an old maid of an aunt with a kooky office job. (Still, one of the reprints has my favorite part. From the "Mr. Right Rejection Letter", two items from the checklist would disqualify me: "You failed the credit check.", and "Your legs are skinnier than mine. If you can FIT in my pants, then you can't GET in my pants.") The portions that I believe Philia composed herself (all of four pages) are rife with not-your-garden-variety typos and mildy in one's face. Unremarkable comic with Snoop Dogg. There's nothing here, but I'd like to see number two. Reviewed by Marc. [$1.50 / half-legal / 12 pp. / copied, color cover] No address listed. E mail Philila Chhay AKA PillChhay@yahoo.com

July 2003. Now we come to the Zine . . . zines at the end. Why would anyone in all seriousness include that word in their title? Do we always have to be so self aware in this sub culture to keep it up, unprofessional lifeguards standing in line to perform CPR on a drowned corpse. It's a ridiculous trend, trying to gain notoriety with the pretense of aiding scene cohesiveness. . . . Often I'll read a zine at work, on the bus, in the laundromat, i.e. in public, but never if there's "zine" in the title. This is the last issue of Karl's newsletter of zine resources, and good for him. Reviewed by Marc. [free / half-legal / 8 pp. / copied] Karl Thomsen, PO Box 2061, Winnipeg, MB, R3C 3R4 Canada. afterglo@mts.net www.mts.net/~afterglo

#1, July 2003. I mean, come on. It's another review zine/D.I.Y. guidebook. In a writeup of my zine (that he ordered), Justin sticks almost entirely to the subject of this website, and calls me the "Rush Limbaugh of the Zine World". I am puzzled, and the worst part is he got my address wrong. (Anyway, I like to think I'm the Tom Arnold of the zine world.) This is repulsive. There a probably about the same number of zines reviewed (and many of the same zines) as on this page, and on top of that an interview with Chester Brown in which the author pees her pants when his girlfriend Kris telephones.

     I suddenly got that living-in-a-comic-strip feeling. "Don't you find that strange that I know who she is?"
     "No, not at all."
     I guess he's really just used to it.